


When I Grow Up

by Kwaninonii



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, I'm Serious, M/M, The angst is like barely there, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 03:51:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11959122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kwaninonii/pseuds/Kwaninonii
Summary: A trip to Jeju leaves both Seungkwan and Hansol doubting themselves.Based on the song "When I Grow Up"





	When I Grow Up

Storms are deceiving, aren't they? Looming over the calm ocean waves, the billow of dark clouds looked stunning with the sunset stained skies peeking out beneath. In that moment the world stood still. They couldn't tear their eyes away from the low hanging clouds that seemed to be just within grasp. The wind’s howl dwindled to a soft, steady breath. The waves rolled onto the shore; never crashing nor cresting. A sound barrier seemed to encompass the strand of beach that only they inhabited. The gentle chime from the waves lightly shifting fragments of shells where land met water was the only thing to reach their ears. The calm before the storm. 

 

Hansol always doubted himself. Seungkwan seemed to have it all figured out. His hopes and dreams shone brighter than the sun that was now retreating behind the horizon. He knew what he wanted in life and worked hard for it. Meanwhile, Hansol struggled to just think about the next day. When he felt worthless, he only thought of Seungkwan more. About how all he was good for is holding the other back. And though his mind plagued him with these thoughts, his heart could never let go. ‘When I grow up.’ He laughed at the thought. How would he ever catch up to Seungkwan; who was taking strides, while he could barely take one step forward? He just needed a little more time. Naive was a word he grew to despise, but it was all he could see when he looked in the mirror. 

 

Seungkwan always thought that he couldn't do it. This whole real-life thing that is. Visiting Jeju, and seeing his mom made that notion even more overbearing. He was still a kid, dependent on his family. Hansol seemed so… self-reliant, and self-assured. The American boy never failed to pull them out of a tough situation. Like that time Seungkwan overestimated his income and almost ended up without food for two weeks. They were only friends at that point, but Hansol still came over and cooked for him every night. ‘When I grow up’ he always thought to himself, ‘I'll be able to survive on my own.’ But Hansol was already there. He was confident, without a doubt. A kind and modest man. Someone you could easily admire… and Seungkwan found himself always looking up. 

 

‘Please wait for me.’

‘Please wait for me.’

 

They two held their breath in unison as the storm crept closer. Sitting hand-in-hand against the dunes, their grip tightened as the words they wanted to say flooded their thoughts. 

 

“Seungkwan…”

“Hansol…”

 

Their voices resonated together in the eerie stillness.

“Y-you go first.” Hansol stammered. His eyes stayed fixated on the sand while several excruciating moments passed.

“I don’t want to lose you.” The other softly murmured, gazing out to the ocean. Seungkwan’s words didn’t immediately sink in. Hansol’s mind was still clouded with speculation of what was to come.

“You don’t… what?” Hansol leaned back in surprise, looking over to him. “Seungkwan, why do you—” Tears threatened the other boys eyes as he turned his attention to Hansol.

“I’m. I’m…”

“I’m still here…” Hansol smiled softly. “Right beside you. I don’t plan on that changing.” 

 

Seungkwan watched him slowly stand up, dusting the sand off his jeans. Without words, they could sense each other's doubts. They always understood each other by a bond that drew them together so closely. They both had each other, and that was all they needed. In that moment, they both realized it.

 

“Let's head back before we get drenched.” Hansol looked up to the sky, holding a hand out to catch the first few falling raindrops.

“Yeah.” Seungkwan smiled to himself. “Let's go.”

 

Their future was uncertain, unstable, unpredictable; but so is everyone’s. The one thing that was certain was the happiness they shared, they both thought as they walked back hand-in-hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I've had this fic locked away for so long... with literally a dozen others I have started but can't seem to piece together to finish.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! I'm hoping to actually finalize all of the others-- at some point.


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